I’m trying to believe here

And to have a little faith

Trying to stay patient

But also trying not to wait.

I’m trying not to overthink

And to simply go with the flow

Trying so very hard to hold on

But even harder to let go.

I’m trying to stay positive

And in all things perservere

And though time may not always be kind

I’m still trying here.

Goodbye, Stranger,

I’m closing the door -

Not sure what you came here for…

Thanks for the short visit,

Now be on your way.

It was nice to meet you

But you just can’t stay.

Good luck on your journeys

And please do take care,

For I have no more time left on you to spare.

You’re no longer welcome

And don’t ask me why,

Just goodbye, Stranger. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Oh, fragile heart,

Locked deep away -

You’re walled up, that keeps all at bay.

Oh, frightened heart,

Cowering inside,

Do you really plan to forever hide?

Oh, weakened heart,

Building your strength -

You’ve been asleep too long a length.

Oh, hopeless heart,

Pretending not to care -

I can see what’s really there.

Oh, broken heart,

So careful you tread -

You’re damaged, yes, but you’re not dead.

Oh, my dear, dear heart,

Let go now of that pain

And try to try to love again.

I want to sleep away the sorrow

To grieve away the pain,

I want to wake to a tomorrow

Where I’m happy once again,

I want no shoulder here to borrow

And alone endure this strain,

I want no more bitterness nor woe

To keep suffering here in vain,

I want not to hold nor tow

This still swollen inner sprain,

I want a new hope in me to grow

From this long unelapsed rain,

I want the seed I choose to sow

To sprout beautifully unstained,

I want to unlearn and not know

Of the innocence that’s waned,

I want no longer to be low

On the ground too long I’ve lain,

I want to recover now and so

From this life no more refrain.

You pray that you will matter… to at least just one

That you won’t be forgotten when your life is done

And in all the failures and greatness that you amount

Through it all somehow in some way you’ll just count

So that whether you’re a bright flame or a brief spark

In the end you will still have made some kind of mark.

I will remember the moments we shared together

Though we are now apart.

I will remember that great feeling you gave to me

Though it tore apart my heart.

I will remember the kindness you showed me once

Though it was really small.

I will remember the things I saw in you

Though you tried to hide them all.

I will remember the way you made me laugh

Though you made me cry much more.

I will remember the time you gave me then

Though me you now ignore.

I will remember all the good there was

Though it’s hard not to regret.

I will remember how you touched my life

Though I wish I could forget…

Feels so nice to feel not bad

Like ‘happy’ once more is not only not just sad

Like I could have again what I lost but had…

Feels so warm to really feel touched

Reminds me of something I couldn’t think on too much

To avoid feeling all others of that such and such…

Feels so great but feel so lost

Like the ways of my mind and heart are crossed

Wanting to feel again but afraid of the cost…

Breathe in the days -

Let it absorb,

Feel the sun’s warmth like you once did before.

Clear your mind,

Let things go,

What your head can’t solve your heart will know.

Take step by step,

Let things near

Though it may make all things seem unclear.

Give it some time,

Let life lead

And you’ll find you may already have all the things you need.

It’s just a feeling that isn’t real

But it’s something that I can feel

Though it’s all just in my mind

It still feels so utterly divine

It doesn’t always last long

But when it’s there it feels so strong

Fuels my dreams for something more

Opens locks on inner doors

I know it’s just something that I feel

But someday it could be real.

It’s not quite a feeling I can describe

It’s just so many things combined -

Chaotic, disheveled and everywhere,

A complicated state that completely impairs;

Like I’m running away but towards the same thing;

Like I’m preparing to lose but still trying to win.

And my heart and mind just can’t agree

As if they can only do things separately.

What I want and think just don’t seem to match

And I can’t quite hold on nor be unattached;

Just running in circles and standing quite still

So empty of hope but still hopefully filled

A complex emotion that’s swimming inside

Wanting so much to live but too afraid to die.

It’s a feeling I find so hard to hide

Yet it’s a feeling still currently undefined.